The other night I was sick and could not sleep. As often happens when I am awake at 3am my mind wanders. I do my best thinking in the middle of the night or when I am having a shower. I find I am not trying to think about things so my brain is relaxed and things begin to flow. So I thought I would share a typical thought process that happened and how it led me to a life lesson.
I knew my husband was leaving for the airport at 7am so would not be able to take the kids to school while I rested.
I decided I would drive the 500m to school even though I feel guilty doing this when I am not going anywhere else afterwards.
I ended up visualizing myself driving to the school and parking where I often end up (there is great competition for parking spaces near the school). It is a spot towards the top of the hill I have mentioned we usually walk up to get there.
Suddenly I was reminded of all the times I parked there, got out of the car and discovered there were other spots around the corner and closer to school.
Something in me makes me grab that spot for fear there might not be another after the turn.
Even though I know sometimes there are spaces I have not allowed the evidence to stand for itself. I second guess it and play it safe.
My mind started exploring what holds me back from turning that corner. It is the same thing as always: fear – fear of the unknown, fear of making the wrong choice, fear of being late which to me means ” I failed”.
My 3:30am brain started thinking about what would happen if I started to look around the corners in life. What if I did not always play it safe? What if just every once in a while I did not over-think how it would turn out and instead I just did “it”?
I started to visualise the drive to school and saw my car turn that corner and drive happily along, singing along with the radio. I did not see where I parked the car, but fell asleep again feeling at peace with not knowing.
The journey I am on keeps changing and I think that is the same for everyone – if you let it unfold rather than keep trying to direct things. The more we play it safe the more things stay the same. Change cannot happen without risk, courage, facing reality, being honest with ourselves, making mistakes, getting it “wrong” to find our “right”.
What do you think might be just around the corner? Are you ready to find out?
Find your simple,
Deb
Images:
adventure is around every corner
a ship in port is safe
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: thatspaceinbtwn
November 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Lovely and timely post deb…Im gripped with fear that Ill have to make decisions without knowing whats around the corner. Im on the verge and it feels uncomfortable and edgy – I want someone else to go round the corner, come back and then tell me whats there so I can go to. Lots of spaces in between in that one x
Twitter: findyoursimple
November 8, 2011 at 8:35 pm
I hear you – it is like you may just have to go for that skydive and trust there will be a parachute! You know that uncomfortable and edgy feeling? I get that too – pushing through that and trusting your decision is the best one you can make today is all you can do to keep moving forward.
Debra Dane recently posted..Helping our children let go of perfectionism
I do just the same with parking at school! In fact, I do the same with things in life!!! Thanks for this one Deb. xxx
Twitter: findyoursimple
November 8, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Ha ha Faye – see that is why at 3:30 in the morning I could make the leap from it being about a parking scenario and realizing it is my whole life. It is our cautious nature of wanting all the facts, everything considered, make it nice and neat and no mess!
Like I said – it takes risks, courage, mess to make change!
deb xxxx
Debra Dane recently posted..Household management: Cleaning – Simplified
Twitter: AspiringMum
November 8, 2011 at 8:52 pm
This is so true. I am a bit of a control freak, and have never taken many risks – for fear of failing, or losing my sense of control over a situation. But the reality is, we don’t know what lies around the corner unless we take that first step to see.
At the beginning of the year, I wrote a list of words that I wanted to be a part of the year for me – and ‘risk’ was one of them. I will say that this year I’ve been bolder in stepping out of my comfort zone, but I know I’ve still got a long way to go.
Debbie recently posted..Day 8 – Menu Planning.
Twitter: findyoursimple
November 8, 2011 at 10:06 pm
That’s great Debbie – that is what I am talking about – you have been bolder than before – you do not have to be rash and crazy to make the changes, you just need to keep moving in the direction you want to go. For super cautious types like us it is a great compromise to take a tiny step forward and then settle in before taking another step.
Debra Dane recently posted..Life is a journey – make it your own
[i]I do my best thinking in the middle of the night or when I am having a shower.[/i]
So basically…you’re me? I’m the same way.
I’m a play-it-safer, but I’m also a pleaser to a fault. I have forever had this problem (off topic, but I think for me, they’re linked) and find I don’t take risks, or even say how I truly feel about things, lest I rock the boat or make someone else uncomfortable. I apologize for things going wrong that I have absolutely no control over (like starting my menstrual cycle at inopportune times, like the day of our move…no control over it! But I’m still sorry!), and I will rarely make even the smallest of decisions without mulling over every possible scenario, trying to determine who will be even remotely effected. I always ALWAYS play it safe. Or I will let others take the risk/make the decision to take the risk, so no one will have their feathers ruffled by me.
Sorry for taking up so much space (see?!) but this is actually something that has been bothering me lately.
Twitter: findyoursimple
November 8, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Don’t apologise – and look- you took up just the right amount of room! That which we have no control over needs to be released!
Next decision or opinion required of you – how about just that one time you try to think only of yourself and what you want or need. Just see how it feels afterwards when you are doing something (or not doing it) that is aligned with what you want and believe.
Debra Dane recently posted..Helping our children let go of perfectionism
What a great post Deb. I too do my best thinking when I should be sleeping!
I think stepping outside our comfort zone is one of the hardest things to do and when we finally build up the courage it is very freeing. I have found even when I do veer around the corner and come unstuck it is okay, because I allowed myself to explore and experiences like that are priceless. And when it pays off well….that is even better.
xx
Jodi Gibson @ The Scribble Den recently posted..Life gets harder
Twitter: findyoursimple
November 9, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I love that phrase “allowed myself to explore” – that is what we need right? to give ourselves permission – to say – it is ok if you try this, push that etc and it does not work out.
Debra Dane recently posted..Helping our children let go of perfectionism
Twitter: Jane_PlanetBaby
November 11, 2011 at 12:58 pm
As you know, Deb, I posted the exact same Twain quote on the same day. Amazing synchronicity. We were meant to meet! That was what was around the corner for you ☺. J x
Jane recently posted..Market love: the Boutique Markets
Twitter: findyoursimple
November 11, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Thanks Jane!! and I have been peering around that corner a little more this week!
Debra Dane recently posted..Planning with kids – Interview with Nicole Avery & book giveaway