If there is one word I could use to describe my forties so far it would be “transformative”.
It has so far been a time of reawakening, a time of health issues forcing some changes, a time of living on my own with the girls while my husband works interstate, a time of figuring out my path going forward.
With transformation though comes uncertainty.
There is the time in between “what was” and “what will be” and it is filled with the unknowing, the potential, the fear and the longing.
It is a struggle to just be in the moment and explore the journey itself.
I am reminded of the story about the “becoming” of a butterfly. If you have not heard it, it goes like this (abridged version).
There was a butterfly struggling to slowly come out of its cocoon. A well meaning man decided to help the butterfly along its journey and cut open the cocoon so the butterfly could be free faster and easier.
Unfortunately this was the worst thing for the butterfly.
It turns out that butterflies need to struggle to be free. In that process their wings form fully just as they are meant to be. Without the struggle the butterfly cannot use its wings and spends its life unable to fly.
What we often view as a struggle is actually the exact path we need to take to be fully formed and emerge as we are intended to be.
I am reminding myself of this on hard days and times of uncertainty.
I want so badly to know what to do next to make things end up where I want them to be.
I have to accept that the journey is often slow and full of struggle, but that not all struggle is bad.
Struggle makes us appreciate what we have and what we accomplish – for it did not come easily.
Struggle allows us time to learn lessons, form fully (in whatever ways we need) and grow – for what lessons could we learn while staying the same?
Struggle is part of the process as we decide what we really want, what does not work for us and what we are willing to fight for.
I admit I am in a struggle place, but celebrate that it is part of my journey and not something to be afraid of any more.
What struggles do you have in your life right now that may be part of the journey you need to take? Are you open to the lessons you could learn?
Find your simple,
Image credit: Butterfly from flickr user whologwhy