It is Friday and time for reflecting on what I am feeling grateful for right now. I am amazed as the months go by how varied my level of gratitude is and how much it is connected to my overall moods. When I lose some of my connection with gratitude (evidenced most by a lack of entries in my 365 journal) I start down a slippery, negative slope. The reverse is also true as my mood shifts downward some weeks and it seems easy enough to just skip writing in that book. I am beginning to realise how critical it is for me to stop daily and take stock. It is not something I can be complacent with as the benefits received are too important to risk.
This week started off rocky and I was already thinking “maybe this will be the first week I skip my grateful post. I am just not feeling it.” Then I reached rock bottom on Tuesday night and went to bed wrapped in gratitude. I was so grateful that my daughter was brave enough to speak up and utter those painful words. They were a gift I needed to receive and I felt a shift within me. For weeks I had been walking a fine line between taking care of myself and letting myself sink into a hole. School holidays and an enormous cache of Easter chocolate saw me fall off the sugar free wagon I need to be on for everyone’s sake.
Having the kids at home meant I did not get to the gym apart from one session.
No exercise + sugar + PMS = the bitchiest version of me.
I am grateful I have a family that love me so much that even living with “the bitchiest me” I still received hugs, kisses and tender words. There is no sweeter moment for me than when one of my children reaches out as I walk past and either strokes my arm tenderly or puckers up silently asking me for a kiss. Long may that be my way of life…
After my low point with my daughter I felt compelled to write about it, but once written I feared sharing the post. I was not sure if I would be judged harshly or if my words would simply be seen as navel gazing and you would be uninterested in reading about this.
I am grateful today for the positive comments, support and emails I received after sharing my story. It was amazing to trust this little community that has developed (and all those other readers I did not even know yet) and be rewarded with commiseration, understanding and ideas. No one asked what exactly happened which was one of my fears as I had promised Alice it would stay between the three of us. Thank you for respecting our family and the privacy we try to maintain in spite of my public writing.
It has been just over nine months since I first hit publish on this blog. I cannot help but draw a comparison to the nine months it takes to grow a child. I feel my journey in this time has been similar and only in recent weeks have I fully come into my own. Thank you to each of you who have taken the time to comment here whether it is once or regularly. Thank you to those who have supported me, shared my posts, joined in on my Facebook page or taught me something.
And so another week finds me filled with gratitude again. The simple truth about gratitude is there is always something to be grateful for if you stop long enough to find it.
What are you grateful for this week?
Find your simple,
I am linking up with Bron and Kidspot for 52 weeks of grateful – they have moved to even nicer digs on Kidspot in the “Village Voices” section of the site. Go check it out and catch up on some gratitude posts!
Image credit: Gratitude by flickr user juliejordanscott