I have a secret to share – I am not “normal”.
Or am I?
This is what I have been pondering lately. Who decides what’s “normal”? Why does majority always have to rule?
I have received emails from people telling me something I wrote made them feel more “normal”. I know I have often read blog posts and articles online and felt the same way. I know the word normal really means “okay” to many people.
But why do we feel abnormal in the first place?
As a PND survivor I fight back the black dog and anxious thoughts and feel I am alone in this but, really I am not since so many other people suffer as well. I know they do because the statistics say they do and the ever increasing number of blog posts and books tell me so. So really as much as depression feels like a big bad secret it is really “normal” – just previously unspoken about.
My 8 year old recently asked me if girls can marry each other and when I told her “yes” (with no explanation about the ridiculous inconsistencies in reality of that statement) we had a great conversation about being true to who you are and how we can’t help who we fall in love with. She asked about how gay couples have babies since our hen ownership has led to many chats about fertilising eggs (but thankfully none about sex). As I was explaining casually about the need to visit a doctor for help I added that actually many male-female couples need help having babies these days too. So really, making their family that way is quite “normal” in 2012.
And on and on my mind goes, frustrated by all the things that makes us “us” and how we feel uncomfortable in our own skin at times. How we feel we need to be like everyone else. All my quirks that people find funny – if they don’t share those quirks – are the same things that connect me to someone else who does identify the same “weird” quirks.
I want my kids to be who they are 100%. I have already said I am practicing the art of non-conformity and part of that to me is wanting a revolution to redefine normal. Or even get rid of the word entirely. Why must we benchmark against someone else’s definition of normal?
Whether you are on medication for migraines, diabetes or bipolar disorder – why is one normal and another not?
Whether you can/do eat everything, have allergies or choose to eat a different way – why is one normal and another not?
Whether you are a size 2, size 10 or size 22 - why is one normal and another not?
Whether you wear shirts conservatively buttoned to your neck or have piercings or tattoo sleeves - why is one normal and another not?
Whether you are an introvert, an extrovert, have a large group of friends or none - why is one normal and another not?
Whether you line up all your cutlery, can’t stand to hear them touch, or simply eat food with your hands - why is one normal and another not?
Whether you have kids at 18, 30 or 45, naturally, via C-section or international adoption -why is one normal and another not?
Whether you walk at 8months, 12 months or 18 months- why is one normal and another not?
Whether you marry someone just like you or from another religion or race- why is one normal and another not?
So many of us strive to be accepted, to feel “normal” or more, but who are we asking to approve of us? Whose opinion really matters? Even writing this blog post I struggled for a week to try to express this train of thought and could not get it out “right”. I decided I need to just express my thought and let it stand on its own. I guess for a change I am using my blog simply as a way to process my thoughts.
So maybe instead of waiting for someone else to share their story for you to feel okay with how you are – just be okay with it right now and know in your heart that you are not alone, you are indeed “normal” and you are okay just the way you are.
Find your simple,
I am linking up with Jess for I blog on Tuesdays – go check out a whole bunch of other fabulous posts
Image credits: Masquerading as a normal person