I love reading and writing – could never live without a pile of books by my side and a fresh journal somewhere (even during those times when I don’t write in it often). I grew up like this and watch as my kids (7 1/2 and 9) are growing up in the digital age where they know their way around google, microsoft products and my ipad – seemingly with no lengthy instructions.
I work to counter the extra tech time by still focusing on reading books, writing with real pens and communicating by post. This way lives side by side with books on our digital devices, their desire to start their own blogs and occasionally sending email and skype messages to Grandma.
I thought I’d share some of the ways we stay low tech with their communications and pass on my love of a good pen and beautiful paper.
Pen Pals
I am American and my husband is English and that impacts on our girls quite often. Earlier this year a childhood friend of mine asked if my girls would like to start writing as pen pals with her daughter who was slightly older and curious about life in Australia. She needed to practice her writing and this would be a good way for her to do so. Sign us up!
Since my 7 year old was a fair bit younger I suggested just the older girls write and instead approached a friend in England. With a daughter who is within 6 months of Lulu’s age we asked if they would like to connect as well.
Now we have letters and photos winging their way back and forth between the States, England and Australia. The girls each have stationery, note cards and full responsibility for writing their letters, asking their pen pals relevant questions, answering the ones they receive and preparing them for the post office (addressing, stamps etc). It takes ages sometimes before they get a reply, but the anticipation is half the fun and quite a counter to the text messaging of their future.
We can’t wait to get to NYC in November as the girls are both excited to connect with Alice’s pen pal (and my childhood friend) who will meet us in NY for a day.
Ideas for you: You could approach people you know who live outside your home area (does not have to be overseas), if you blog you could approach another blogger you have connected with overseas, or you can search online as there are sites set up for this (try to find a snail mail one though like this one as some are simply email based). Let kids pick out stationery and set them up with a little mail centre (address of pen pal, stamps, stickers, and a place to keep their received letters).
Thank you (and other) cards
Thank you cards no longer seem to be the given. We rarely receive them any more and I personally find it a little sad. Even if it takes time and effort I try to keep this practice going with the girls. When they have birthday parties, receive gifts in the mail or through the holiday season I make a list of the gifts and who sent / gave them and then work with the girls to write something to each person. Sometimes it takes two weeks at a pace of 1 or 2 cards at a time, but we check them off as we go and keep plugging away. The girls learn to focus on the gift giver, share what they liked about the gift and express gratitude.
Sometimes over the years they have had a stronger interest in this and took the time to draw pictures or create elaborate cards. Other times lack of time or energy was at play and I drafted a thank you template on the computer and had them write only a little bit. We make it work for us however needed each time.
Ideas for you: Buy blank cards for those kids who like to craft and create – mine spend time doing this for fun and then it comes in handy for them to write randomly to friends and family. You can collect stickers, some craft supplies, even just a stash of envelopes with some paper and leave the rest to them. Turn artworks of theirs into cards and share them with family for special occasions and the holidays.
Journaling (and creative writing)
Fortunately and unfortunately (depending on how you look at it) I have passed on my love of the blank journal. My kids have used them for everything including writing about life, travels, favourite foods, poetry, short stories, lists (oh the lists!), birthday party plans, dreams and more.
My 9 year old has a journal I gave her for her birthday that is for the two of us. She can write to me about anything she needs or wants to share and I can reply or initiate something private via this journal. We have used it to apologize, talk about boys (already!), express our feelings safely and it will grow with us as she needs it to.
Ideas for you: it is never too early to give a child a blank book – before my 7 year old could ever write she joined in with her own. One book she created at 5 years old she simply wrote one letter of the alphabet on each page and then drew pictures of a different food to match the letter. She was “getting” book making and writing though and still loves to do things like this – now often in Word or in PicMonkey alongside her journals.
If a child shows an interest in journaling or story writing but says they don’t know what to write you can give them journal prompts (ideas like “if you could be any animal what would you be?” or “What is your best memory from our holiday?”) or story starters (you can search online for lots of ideas or just give them a topic or first sentence).
Do your kids love to write – what do they love to do – send mail to others or write stories or journals? Do any of your kids have pen pals?
Find your simple,
Deb
Image credit: flickr user pascalmaramis








{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this because I am a paper girl through and through as well. I try to encourage my kids to write – both my older girls have journals. And I also encourage them to write thank you notes whenever they receive a gift or even for just staying at someone’s house. I would never have dreamed that writing would become a dying ‘art’, but sadly it is. I am hoping to instil a love of writing in my children – it gives me so much joy and I would like them to experience that for themselves. These are great ideas Deb.x
Debbie @ Aspiring Mum recently posted..What Makes Our House a Home.
That’s wonderful that your girls have journals.
It IS sad that it is a dying art – in many cases it would be great to simply prevent the fall into text speak as I hear that many older kids even write that way away from their phones and often can’t spell (thanks to spell check and texting mostly).
Debra Dane recently posted..Letting go
My step-daughter is only 5, but we do the thank you card thing after birthdays. I think she’d like a pen-pal. That’s a great idea! She can pick up my iPad and use it with no problems, so something that will encourage her to write and practice her handwriting is great

Mel recently posted..Life isn’t always all Rainbows and Sunshine…
I hope you find her a pen pal – there is so much to be gained from the experience from learning about someone else’s home area to asking questions, writing about your own life and of course the thrill of ripping open an envelope in that days’ mail!!
Debra Dane recently posted..10 Tips to simplify your email
Those are all wonderful ideas Deb! I love the pen pal idea! I had a pen pal when I was younger but no recollection of name/location/how I got her! It’s nice that you’re connected to the parents so that connection will hopefully stick. Digital world is great, but it is nice to still read books and write letters. And I’m with you on the thank you card thing! It does seem to be a lost art, and that is sad, but also indicative of society in general I think!
Aroha @ Colours of Sunset recently posted..When We’re Young
I do love that their pen pals ended up being connected to people we know and the countries of our birth as it adds so much to the experience. I wonder if your pen pal thinks about you… after all these years.
Debra Dane recently posted..Simplify your life {Week 36 Beauty – rituals, care, indulgence}
I still prefer to buy and read books, despite the ease of getting them easily online. Love the idea of pen pals! My girl is still too young to write letters, but I think I would like to find one for myself!
Ai Sakura recently posted..Macau 2012 | 10 Must Eat Food & Where to Find Them!
That is awesome Ai – i hope you do seek out a pen pal – I am actually sending off two cards this week to overseas friends of mine because I know it will be unexpected and even us adults can use the connection and pick me up of letters by post!
Debra Dane recently posted..Simplify your life {Week 37: Self Care}
Great ideas. I’ll be doing everything I can to keep pen and paper in our lives. I always send thank you cards for presents or for attendances at events (parties, Christmas) – I find that even when people say it’s not necessary, they still appreciate it.
Emily recently posted..A voucher for cleaning is(n’t) an acceptable birthday gift
I agree that people will say not to worry, but then do appreciate and cherish the gesture and words.
Debra Dane recently posted..Simplify your life {Week 37: Self Care}
I’m so excited reading this post. I love that this same passion of mine has filtered through to my children. My kids love snail mail & often send letters and pictures to their older cousins (who always generously reply). I don’t know anyone who doesn’t enjoy receiving snail mail from friends!
On the same track, my aunt recently sent my kids an invitation to sleep over on the holidays. It came complete with a reply form where they had to tick boxes and answer questions (what’s your favourite food, what’s one special thing you’d like to do here, etc). They absolutely loved it. Simple, handwritten, but you would have thought it was Christmas, they were so excited!
Love all that Elissa – that they write with their cousins and the wonderful effort your Aunt made – that sounds amazing! I am going to keep that in mind as my 9 year old wants to have a sleepover party next birthday and i think having the kids send back a reply would be great -we can include stamp addressed envelopes and find out what they like for brekky, a game suggestion etc – brilliant way to get some kids writing to us!
Debra Dane recently posted..Grateful for friendship, grace and story time
I cant wait for my daughter to write… my bestfriend in the UK her daughter is the same age (a week younger) and we are hoping they will be penpals for life!!
The art of ink and paper is definitely still there.. but not being used…
#teamIBOT was here to say hello!
Yvette Bowyer recently posted..burger making at its best! {review}
That’s great that your best friend has a daughter too – that is a great connection for all of you. It has given us conversation topics many times in recent months as they ask to see photos of us adults as kids, ask about our school, or how we know each other, where they live etc. Have fun with it!
Debra Dane recently posted..Letting go
I think that the art of writing is definitely getting lost in our society ! And I for one am sorry to see it go. I am with you on the thank you cards / notes. I still try to send them when we get something to acknowledge the time taken by the giver.
I used to have penpals when I was little – my folks actually met one of them when they went to Finland but I can’t remember how I found her.
I still write pen letters to aunts in South Africa who have no access to email – they always say how happy they are to get ‘nice’mail !!!
Have the best day and good luck with keeping the art of writing alive in your children !
Me
Me recently posted..Happy Birthday A !!!!
That is so great that your parents hooked you up with a pen friend from their travels and I bet your Aunts will always be grateful that you took the time to keep in touch xxx
Debra Dane recently posted..Transforming my kitchen counter clutter hotspot with Howards Storage World
It’s Fantastic to see there are still some pen to paper writers out there.
My daughter who is 8 has her own blog ‘Little Aussie me’ but she also has a journal which she has had from the time she started school.

She calls it her memory book. She writes about anything and everything she tells me if my computer broke then all our ‘memories’ would be lost, her’s are safe in her little note book.
Me N my Monkeys recently posted..How to Stick to Your Diet When Ordering Pizza!
Is her blog public? – I would love to email you if you were ok about it as my girls are desperate to start blogs and I said we’d do it in the new year for school holidays after our trip. Would love to hear any tips / advice you have.
Love the journal as “memory book” xx
Debra Dane recently posted..Simplify your life {Week 39 Parenting}
I had loads of pen pals when I was growing up, and kept a diary from an early age. I’m English (hubby is Aussie) so I’m sure my girls will write to my nephews when they’re older. Letter writing is such an art and it’s so exciting to receive one in the mail!
Catherine Rodie Blagg (Cup of Tea and a Blog) recently posted..Tooth hurty
How awesome that they will be able to write to cousins and connect that way – that will be such a great experience for them.
Debra Dane recently posted..Letting go
What a great idea, I loved having a pen pal when I was younger – we had the same sort of thing, a cousin in England barely older than I was and our parents organising us to write, when Dex is older I hope to do the same with him.
Three Quarters Full recently posted..It’s getting easier
Did you keep the letters – I cannot even imagine getting to re-read something like that. I started photocopying our outgoing letters so they have a full set of back and forth.
Debra Dane recently posted..Transforming my kitchen counter clutter hotspot with Howards Storage World
I always wanted a penpal. Would be a lovely idea when my children are older. They do send pictures to their cousins!
Annaleis Topham recently posted..Being a Good Friend!
It is like you’re laying the groundwork – as they get older you can have them add a note with the photos!
Debra Dane recently posted..Simplify your life {Week 37: Self Care}
I love the idea of a pen pal — for myself! In this day of electronic communication, I miss getting letters in the mail.
Both my kids are pretty creative on their own when it comes to writing. But I may introduce some of these ideas to them and see if any appeal. Knowing them, and their personalities, I think journaling will appeal the most. (I’ve been keeping a journal since I was 13 years old.)
Karen recently posted..Recruiting Insights Part 1: Nailing Your Job Application
That’s when I started journaling as well – i have a whole box of them in storage at my mother’s as I did not know what to do with them when i went overseas – 18 years later they are still there!
I hope you find yourself a pen pal too!
Debra Dane recently posted..Simplify your life {Week 39 Parenting}
Having a penpal was one of the best things about my childhood
I absolutely LOVED growing up in a non digital age.
I had different penpals in so many different countries, & it taught me so much about life.
I LOVE that you have done this for your children,
I would love to do this for Max one day
Love Cherie xx
Love that you had penpals all over the world – i would have loved that. I still remember one of my oldest friends sharing her letters she received from her Greek (male) penpal – their lives could not have been more different, it was so exciting
Debra Dane recently posted..Transforming my kitchen counter clutter hotspot with Howards Storage World
I grew up with a pen pal. one of the best memories in my life. It was a daughter of mum’s friends. More like a ‘cousin’ kinda relationship. We only lived 3 hours away and probably saw each other once or twice a year, but the letter writing. loved it. loved the anticipation of waiting for something in the letterbox.
We used to record our top 10 songs at the time and all that snaz.
I will definitely be encouraging this. I have a like minded girlfriend who lives on the other side of the city, 1 hour away, we encourage even now our girls to send each other the occasional note.
Plus a family from our mums group moved to the uk. Perfect penpal material.
Too many benefits to mention.
Mandy recently posted..Top 3 Tools for a wannabe Crafty Mumma
Thanks for your comment mandy – made me smile. I will suggest the top 10 list idea – they are still new so have been doing things like talking about where they live (and clarifying iot is not near the “outback” etc), school and friends and hobbies. i can only imagine if they keep this up for years and what they will share with each other – x x
Debra Dane recently posted..Return to work series {Still working on being a working mother}
I love this post, Deb. We share so many views. I am revelling in teaching the pixies the delights of snail mail. All power to you, my friend! J x
Jane Green recently posted..Leaping out of my skin with excitement!
Thanks Jane. I have to laugh as this week Lulu has expressed concern at how long this pen pal deal might carry on – i told her no pressure they don’t have to write often (at the current rate the kids will each write 4-5 letters this year to each other – she prefers more active pursuits LOL)
Debra Dane recently posted..4 ideas for kids to document everyday life
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