Last week I went to a twilight market with my family. While the kids were enjoying the petting zoo I left my husband in charge of supervision and went off to scout out the stalls on my own. I had planned to just do a walk through and come back for the family, but ended up stealing a little private shopping time too.
I was standing at one stall with tables laden full of colourful goodies and within a minute had selected a Christmas gift for hubby (will keep secret in case he reads this). I paid, but then suddenly noticed a woman who was spending a lot of time looking at one table and realised the items she was checking out would be perfect for my mother who is visiting. I looked through the 40 or so choices for this (secret again) item and narrowed immediately to two choices. I debated back and forth picking up one and putting it back again. All together 30 seconds passed and I had selected her gift. The woman turned to me and said “you are so decisive” and I almost dropped to the floor in a fit – of laughter! I turned to her and replied – “I was not always so – this is new for me.”
I knew why she was impressed and I would have been too a year ago. It made me realise yet again how much I have changed this year and how many people still stand in fear of making a decision.
A few preliminary tips that will help immensely if you are not already doing them.
1. For purchases, know your budget. There is no point considering a Mercedes and an Astra in the same discussion of choosing a new car. If your budget really is the Astra you are simply complicating the situation by even reviewing options that you honestly know you cannot afford.
2. Accept that there are very few comparisons you will do that will involve straight Apples to Apples. The endless variations make it impossible to compare easily. This is true whether buying something, deciding between job offers or where to live.
3. Have permission – be in the driver’s seat. Often what holds up our decision making is not being 100% free to choose. Unless you have reached the point of having the “green light” from the other party involved, or are in a situation where you are the only decision maker, you will stay stalled.

In August I went on a simple shopping trip that showed me I was now free from the analysis paralysis that I had suffered from for as long as I can remember as an adult. For years I had wanted a GPS as I have no sense of direction. I said to hubby (who can find his way in a new city almost instantly so has always said “we” don’t need one) once and for all “I am getting a GPS”.
I set off to research GPS devices and got stuck – which brand was best? How big a screen did I need? Some came with maps updated and others you paid for them – how much are extra maps? and so on. I asked friends on facebook but every single brand was mentioned as a favourite. I did gather enough information to help me though.
Empowered at least by my sudden power trip, demanding things that made my life easier, I also declared I wanted to buy a new home phone. Ours often seemed to die for no reason and the batteries had to be bought at a shop like Dick Smith as they were proprietary to the phone (not universal batteries).
So I walked into this shop for a quick trip armed with my plan. I found a salesperson and let him do the work for me. I said I needed a GPS and a phone. For the GPS I asked – of all the models you have here which has guided lane navigation AND has free map upgrades (since I found out they could be hundreds of dollars). That left 1 GPS unit, it happened to be on sale and I said “sold” – it took 3 minutes.
We went to the phone area and I said I want two cordless handsets and it must take regular batteries. He looked at every model he had and said “Panasonic are the only ones we have that don’t have their own batteries”. Boom – one minute and I had my phone selected. I was out of the store in ten minutes!
What made it so easy? I had a budget in mind, had declared to my husband I was taking action (so would not be coming back to him after visiting the store) and knowing there was never going to be an easy way to compare every feature I focused on my non negotiables. Once I knew those it did not really matter what little extras each brand offered as they were really unimportant to me.
So back at that stall even though there were 40 choices for my mother, my eye zoomed in on 2 that both featured her favourite colours. I narrowed it from 40 to 2 in 10 seconds. Then it was just a preference issue of one theme over another. Sure she might have liked any number of them, but I used 1 criteria to make it easy. I did the same for hubby’s gift and only focused on 2 choices – easy!
I find I can now filter out all the extra info and just focus on the key issue for me and finally trust my decisions. Of course you will make some bad decisions – everyone does, but making no decision at all is a bad decision too. Taking action empowers you and strengthens your ability each time. It gets easier and you get better at it.
Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant. ~Anthony Robbins
Is there something sitting on your to do or to buy list that you can take action on today? Go do it!
Find your simple,
Deb
Images: Fortune cookie
I will be linking up with Jess for I blog on Tuesdays








{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
I admire your new found ability hun. I can easily make decisions for others and at work, but when it comes to myself I struggle.
xx
I am going to follow your advice from here on in though and I will turn this weakness around
Sonia @ Life Love and Hiccups recently posted..Mangoes, Mayhem and the F word!
Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 3:37 pm
It is a tough thing for many people hon – seriously I was a wait and see person forever – what if there is something better? cheaper? more suited to us? xxx
Debra Dane recently posted..Different kinds of gifts from my mother
I just love that phrase “analysis paralysis”… and I’m guilty of having it! This is excellent advice. I have too much on my plate to just faff about! Well said.
Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 3:38 pm
It is very freeing from my experience so far – i think if it is not something that can cost you a fortune (like a new house) or possibly hurt someone then we need to let ourselves have the freedom to make the best decision we can NOW and move on.
Debra Dane recently posted..Is it worth it?
I don’t have a problem really, but I think that is because my mother can’t make up her mind on anything, and this just frustrated me so much, so I chose not to be like her.
Good on you though; it makes li so much easier!
Jess recently posted..Extreme Makeover
Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Isn’t it funny how motivating it can be to not want to be the same as our parents LOL
Debra Dane recently posted..100th post – 100 things about me
At times I can be terribly indecisive… but I’m noticing that I’m getting much better about decision-making since having kids. I think it’s a lack of time thing and I’m also just realizing how unimportant most of those little decisions are.
Robyn (@slightly_deep) recently posted..Today, it is enough.
Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm
That is a great motivator too – that is the equivalent of having a deadline in a way – you have no spare time to linger and have that analysis paralysis so are pushed to quickly make the decisions
Debra Dane recently posted..You’ve come a long way baby
I think I have the opposite ‘problem’…..when it comes to shopping at least, I can make a decision in a split-second…again and again and again

kirri recently posted..How to keep pursuing what you want when life sucks.
Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm
I can see how that can work if you are in charge of your $ etc =- you see something – you already know your tastes or needs and then let yourself have the freedom to just decided. I am terrible at shopping for myself but am better for others.
Debra Dane recently posted..Household Notebook free printables round up
Twitter: AspiringMum
December 13, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Is it possible to be indecisive about some things and not others?! When it comes to decisions directly about me, I find it extremely hard. But decisions about other things, usually no problem. Your 3rd point about having permission is so valid – permission from our spouse (or other important person) as well as permission from ourselves. I don’t often have the permission side of things worked out – and that’s probably why I’m indecisive at times.
Debbie @ Aspiring Mum recently posted..A Dare: To Encourage.
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December 13, 2011 at 3:43 pm
Definitely normal to be quick at some and struggle with others – the stakes are different, so many variables can be at play…
Permission is my sticking point i think and that came about when I stopped working. Even though my husband and I are partners on some level I think I defer to him for permission and create that dynamic for myself. Even permission to indulge yourself is a weighty subject as it is tied into self worth, fears of spending too much on ourselves or on things we like and desire…
Debra Dane recently posted..Fumbling Through Parenthood
Twitter: crashtest_mummy
December 13, 2011 at 4:39 pm
At my worst, I’m the woman standing in the grocery aisle, paralysed by indecision. It’s ridiculous. Other days, it’s not a problem. I like to research the heck out of stuff online, but what I really want sometimes is for someone to just tell me which one to get!
I like your simplified non-negotiables – it’s a great tip. Thanks

Laney @ Crash Test Mummy recently posted..Goodwill Hunting: Blogging for Community
Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Have you seen the grocery aisles in the states? One of my closest friends cannot handle picking out salad dressing as there are dozens of varieties – same for cereal, repeat in every aisle. I laugh thinking back to england circa 1995 when we lived there and your choices were Salad cream or a vague italian/ greek/french that all looked the same
I often ask hubby to order for me at restaurants as i am already the last at the table to decide 9and usually they have just run out of it)
Debra Dane recently posted..Different kinds of gifts from my mother
I am so often floored by how much you have achieved this year, Deb. Rapid present purchasing is just one of your many new talents! The best decision you ever made was to invest the time and patience in yourself to learn and grow and accept. x
Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Thank you my friend – I am blessed to have “met” you this year. I have had a bad week and felt my old self returning, but today was a better day – isn’t it wonderful that time does not freeze in a bad moment! I hope you are having a fab week though! (ps does it feel like a million years ago that I emailed you all my troubles and woes? it does to me) xxxx
Debra Dane recently posted..Household Notebook free printables round up
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December 13, 2011 at 7:19 pm
I find that any decision to do with my partner is a headache. He puts off decision making where as I just like to step in and go. We are working at allocating decision making areas and then we just go with what the other decides without criticism. Much less precious energy spent!
Lee recently posted..Some people just don’t get me
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December 13, 2011 at 7:31 pm
That is a good tactic – that gives you each the necessary permission so you don’t hold up the process!
Debra Dane recently posted..100th post – 100 things about me
Oh Deb, I so need to take this on board for 2012 and become much more decisive! Buying presents is a nightmare for me for this very reason. Even today, I’ve been trying to decide on a few treats to bake and take to hubby’s family Christmas this weekend. Here’s the sillly part. I spent a good hour reading over about 50 different rocky road recipes. And now I’m so ridiculously confused I don’t know which recipe to choose! I seriously need to find my simple. Love reading your posts, they always inspire me! xx
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Twitter: findyoursimple
December 13, 2011 at 8:16 pm
Big hugs for that – if you make the actual treats at least you got there in the end (ended the paralysis). That’s where “simple” comes in – limit yourself to checking 3 recipes and pick based on 1 factor – easiest? fanciest to be different? a favourite flavour? and then TRUST your instinct! (and send some rocky road my way ; ) a definite awesome Aussie invention up there with the Tim Tam)
Debra Dane recently posted..Different kinds of gifts from my mother
I was going to write exactly the same thing as Jess. My mum has always been so indecisive that whenever I was out with her, I was forced into take action.
Good for you – your system of focusing on what you need makes perfect sense. I can be too decisive to the exclusion of something that may have been the better choice, but I do shop knowing what I want and where to get it from as quickly as possible.
A tad impatient

Jayne recently posted..When the children call you out…
Pal is always in awe of my ability to go into a shop and come out five minutes later with all the things I went in for. I often send him to get nappies and it takes him 15 minutes because he can’t decide which brand – too many choices! Don’t even talk to me about how long it took him to decide on his last pair of shoes.
I’m a researcher. So before I make any big purchase I am likely to have been on the internet for the week beforehand, researching the product, figuring out what features I need and what I can afford on our budget, and the best place to buy them from (free extended warranties/price/sales). Good on you for figuring out the key!!!
Daisy recently posted..Baby Come Back!
Great post Deb and good for you, you have it worked out brilliantly!
I must admit one of my strong points is being decisive but I can often be a little too quick to act sometimes! There is a balance somewhere in the middle.
Jodi Gibson @ Lipgloss Mumma (formerly The Scribble Den) recently posted..An Opportunity Slips By
What an empowering read Deb! Good for you. I like your thought process here. Food for thought for me, I hate making decisions! I am always scared of being wrong!
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Twitter: mixedgems
December 14, 2011 at 8:50 pm
I don’t have an “L” in my forehead. I have the big sign “analysis paralysis” instead. It’s bad with me but I have tried to improve. It’s all a bit ad hoc though. Presents are bad. Shopping for clothes for myself is bad. Birthday cards are real bad. Food not so much. Big life decisions, ugh! But you are do right. No decision is just as bad, if not worse. My AP may stem from a fear of failure. Procrastination is tied up in there. Gee, it all sounds like a foul brew! I have gotten a bit better, a bit more decisive, but I’ve a long ways to go.
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