Since we have tackled the wheel of life exercise for the Simplify Your Life challenge* and I have encouraged you to hand in your superhero cape I thought I would talk a little more about how to seek out greater balance in our lives. To me, balance does not mean getting to everything every day (or even every week). To me, it means tending to all areas of my life over time by not letting my life get stuck in one (or several) areas indefinitely. So not to be a work-a-holic with zero family time, or vice versa as someone who sacrifices all for her family.
I think the middle ground is what balance is about. Allowing for change as you move through the seasons of life, you can still always find some time for the areas that are not of key focus. I think if we highlight what is important to us and honour that with intentional living we can squeeze in more than we think. Often we are doing things backward and much of our time is filled with things that don’t really matter to us deep down and then little time is left for what does matter.
Have you ever heard the story shared by Stephen Covey of taking care of your big rocks first and then filling in the gaps with the small stones or pebbles? The big rocks are all those things that are important to us, lift us up, are in line with our core values. I think I first heard this story when I was 20 or so years old. Rather than retell the story I thought we would switch things up and I would include a video with the lesson delivered straight from Stephen Covey himself. It takes about 7 minutes so make sure you have time right now to sit and give it your full attention. (If you can’t see the video refresh your browser and it will appear).
Defining your “big rocks” is one step towards ensuring you have balance in your life and getting rid of the excuse of “I don’t have time for that”. We all have time – we also have freedom to choose how we spend that time. So we need to reflect, make decisions and own those choices. If I choose to watch TV and DVDs most nights (as I often do to relax) I cannot claim to have no time to exercise or read or journal or write blog posts. I have 2 or more hours right there that I choose at times to spend on movies. I can choose to spend it on reading one night, writing another, going for a walk or run even. The time is there waiting for me to make use of it how best serves me. If I am not getting blog posts written because I am busy reading other people’s writing I have made a choice. If I shift my priorities and get my own work done first, then I can fit the reading and connecting and learning new things to time that is left. If I decide that my health is currently of great importance because I have been neglecting it, then it needs to become a big rock for me rather than a pebble that gets added in when there is a few minutes spare…
I am thinking about my big rocks this week.
Find your simple,
Deb
*I hope you realise you can enjoy the challenge posts and even the exercises without actually participating via blogging. You can journal it at home or dip in and out as you see fit.
Image: If it is important to you
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I remember that rock story from school – funny how things from way back stick so much easier than stuff I read just last week
“I don’t have enough time” is THE most common excuse I hear from clients and even myself…but it all comes down to priorities and the significance we attach to them. I’m interested to hear more about your big rocks!
kirri recently posted..I suck, you suck, we all suck.
Twitter: findyoursimple
February 2, 2012 at 7:50 am
I can understand that being the #1 excuse – I have felt it myself often, but then I realised I was making choices and had to own them.
Debra Dane recently posted..Hand in your superhero cape
Twitter: music_Al_mama
February 1, 2012 at 9:30 am
Thanks for this post Debbie! Now that our youngest is in kindy I supposedly have some “spare time” and I really want to make good use of it. Just what I needed to get me going. So true what you said about reading other blogs, in place of doing your own writing. I’m still trying to find that balance. I’m about to watch the video now to get the rest of my day going. I realise that I have been teaching my kids about getting their stuff done first without setting a good example myself.
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Twitter: findyoursimple
February 2, 2012 at 7:51 am
I struggle with the blog thing constantly – you want to read to learn, to read and comment to support other bloggers and so on and suddenly 2 hours have gone by and you have not written your own post – ugh!
Debra Dane recently posted..Grateful for old friendships (and technology)
I am so with you here ladies, but the difference with me is I haven’t even begun my blog yet, although I have finally started doing some freelance copywriting projects.
At the moment the slightest little thing takes me away from the keyboard, another cup of tea, a spot of dusting (“what on earth?” I hear my Mum shout), putting the washing out (I did this 3 damn times yesterday and normally this is the one job that my husband does without fail!)
How on earth do you schedule time for writing, research, reading other blogs alongside everything else?
Any tips of structuring my writing time and turning it into a big rock will be hugely appreciated!
Twitter: findyoursimple
February 2, 2012 at 8:07 pm
I will let you know when i figure that one out – so far i have had to cut back on everything and feel terrible, but I could not keep up with it all AND have a life. I will be figuring it out over the next few weeks.
Debra Dane recently posted..Tips for decluttering – dealing with sentimental items
Twitter: shelleyshoebox
February 1, 2012 at 12:06 pm
I’ll watch the video when I get home tonight. Your post is spot on. Time management is so crucial. I’ve been going to the gym for an hour each night and still getting everything else done. I bet I could find more time if I wanted to. There’s a great quote I read: ‘Somebody who’s busier than you is out there running right now.’ xx
Shelley recently posted..January: My Month Of Consistency
Twitter: findyoursimple
February 2, 2012 at 7:52 am
I’ve seen that one too – that is great that you have been getting to the gym each night. Since health is one of my big rocks I am fighting through excuses for not going to the gym and pushing myself to get there 2-3 days a week again.
Debra Dane recently posted..This introvert is grateful for back to school
Love this post Deb, and love Covey. I had a whole class focused around his 7 Habits book in college and we too saw this video then (and I’ve seen it a few times since). I can’t stand when people say “I’ve just been so busy, I have NO time.” You have as much time as everyone else does, if you can’t MANAGE your time, or I’m not important to you to deserve some of your time, that is not my problem.
Aroha @ Colours of Sunset recently posted..Week 4 {52 Weeks To Simplify Your Life}
Twitter: findyoursimple
February 2, 2012 at 7:53 am
Wow a whole class would be very interesting – i think that is a brilliant idea for a college class.
Debra Dane recently posted..How to finally get organised – 5 key secrets to finding your way
Excellent post Deb. Couldn’t be more timely as I re-asses my ‘rocks and pebbles’.
Leanne @ Uber Simplicity recently posted..Wordless Wednesday…..Burleigh Beach
Twitter: findyoursimple
February 2, 2012 at 7:55 am
Thanks Leanne – good luck as you look at them – this tied in so much with the wheel of life concept for me as the reason my low scoring areas had become such were because i was treating them like pebbles. Pebble status is fine if that is what I intentionally choose, but in my heart I know they need to be rocks.
Debra Dane recently posted..Tips for decluttering – dealing with sentimental items
Loved reading this and it made me realize that I have started “shifting my rocks around” on days that I know are going to be busier (and more stressful) than usual! I have a mental list of things I am willing to “let go” for that day that help make the day easier and, so far, less stressful! Sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s okay to do things like run the dishwasher more than usual or spot clean the floor, if the trade-off means that I will still have time for myself when the kids are in bed instead of trying to catch up from the day! Still have to keep the balance in check and not start bad habits though!!!!
Twitter: findyoursimple
February 2, 2012 at 10:57 am
That’s great Beth – you are doing something similar to me with my “Bad Day plan” i have posted about previously. Knowing in advance what you can let go of, what shortcuts are ok, how to get by is what can keep you sane and guilt free…The bad days can be blips and then you can get back on track…
Debra Dane recently posted..Tips for decluttering – dealing with sentimental items
my biggest ‘excuse’ is ‘ITS TOO HARD!’ especially with my studies, i get so stuck and go around and around in circles and get absolutely stuck with this thought, and then it turns into a massive inner struggle.
im really focusing on working on that – i dont feel like myself the past two weeks and have been very absent from blogging and supporting and reading and I don’t like feeling so imbalanced and not myself!
Lyndal recently posted..Wheel of Life
Twitter: findyoursimple
February 4, 2012 at 8:42 am
Big hugs Lyndal – I can imagine how much stress comes your way with balancing study and everything else – a big challenge to say the least. When I find myself using that kidn of stress filled negative talk (which then DOES become true as I focus on it being hard) i kind of yell at myself to just do it – it is like breaking the cycle of talk and pushing myself through it – i tell myself i can always edit, revise etc (whether it is writing or any act in life you always have chances to revise, say sorry, try again) but just do something! 1 step in the right direction can be all it takes to change from “this is too hard” to “i can actually do this” (always remember how incredible you are Lyndal!)
Debra Dane recently posted..How to finally get organised – 5 key secrets to finding your way