I am grumpy. There I said it. I have been holding myself together for a while and feeling pretty tired and irritable today. I know I am reaching the end of my rope because the last thing I wanted to do tonight was stop and write this gratitude post. Nothing tells me I need to write it more than my resistance to doing so.
I have had a smile on my face since we got back from the States, supporting my husband, saying it is okay that he has to be away all week, that I am simply grateful he has a job right now. The thing about that is it is not really true. It is what I want to feel so I act as I want to be. The truth is I am tired. I am letting things slide (even forgot to feed the chickens until 5 hours later the other morning). I want to be rescued rather than strong. I want someone else to cook or clean or sort the kids out.
There was my 2 minutes of whining. Done and dusted. Shake it off and back to the task at hand.
I am grateful this week. There have been highlights and they get so easily drowned out by the low moments.
Here are my fabulous highlights this week for which I am truly grateful:
We had hubby home Tuesday and Wednesday nights. It meant he watched the kids while I attended the school meeting. It meant I had at least one coffee in bed making me feel like the old days. It meant someone adult to eat dinner with. It meant someone laying beside me in bed. It meant my kids saw their father (although it only made them angry he was gone Monday night and leaving again Thursday morning – so confused between love and annoyance and I can relate to them).
I took tons of photos on Wednesday for listmania next week. I did not expect to enjoy it as much as I did. My kids were involved, there were smiles, there was fun.
I ran into a friend on the street today while walking the dog. After standing next to her car talking for a while I finally asked her to come over for a drink. My morning had been shocking starting with waking at 5am for hubby to get ready to head to the airport, child with a “lost” recorder (was at school after all) making us late and having to jog to school… and I felt behind the 8 ball already at 9am. Instead of thinking “I have no time hurry up Deb” I went the opposite way and thought “take the time and have a 3rd coffee and chat”. Of course an hour chatting with a friend is always a good idea to turn around your day.
The positive side of waking at 5am was being given a coffee in bed and a Valentine’s card that I had not expected since I had not planned to be up before he left.
After school today the girls and I went to the mall to buy things for my youngest’s birthday party on Sunday. We went to Wagamama for Valentine’s dinner together and everyone loved their food leaving nothing over – wonderful. On the way home we got into a great chat which led to the topic of accents. In explaining how even in America you can have different accents I demonstrated with a Texas drawl versus a NYC tough accent. The girls loved my heavy NY accent and had me saying all kinds of things, trying to imitate me, begging me to speak like that for the rest of the night. At that moment in the car there was nothing but laughter.
Then bedtime stuff turned into stressful disaster and I was simply grateful for them in bed.
and now I am grateful I rented a movie and bought my ice cream at the store so I can go and chill out alone – well I do have the dog by my side. (of course as I typed that kids were out of bed again, there is stress over wobbly teeth just discovered including one I am sure has already fallen out and grown back previously oh joy…)
So now I have a 9 year old in my bed so I guess if you wish to not sleep alone you better be prepared for the way that is remedied. If you don’t specify grown up company you might just get little people company. At least she loves to read in bed with me in the morning.
What are you grateful for this week?
Find your simple,
linking up with Bron for 52 weeks of grateful