I am very tired. That is the bottom line these days. When my husband and I check in from our respective cities that is the main topic without fail – we are both tired. Thankfully we continue to grow and learn, push through, connect, pull back from the urge to whinge and snap. I think even a month ago we might have had a virtual pissing contest of who is doing more, who is most tired, who needs a break.
These days I catch myself and acknowledge all he is doing and how very tired we both are. No contest. No winner or loser. It just is and we both need support and compassion and naps.
I notice that every day I have these teaching moments in my life (and occasionally they extend to others).
I splash my coffee everywhere and am annoyed for a moment. Then I notice where it splashed was in desperate need of a clean anyway. Thank you spill for reminding me that my kitchen actually needs to be cleaned sometimes.
The dog bites my hand right across the veins on top and I am in agony. Thank you for reminding me that I have been avoiding looking into that dog training we so desperately need. Five minutes after talking to my husband I finally search online and not only find someone great to call tomorrow, but they have videos on their site that already gave us some good tips and ideas. As usual I was avoiding making a call for fear of making the “wrong call”. Action simply needs to be taken and is always better than no action. Thank you Evie.
On it goes through my week with my children and my life.
I am tired, but I am more awake than I have been in a while and for that I am grateful.
I can catch the moments where I would have gotten angry or upset. I can breathe through them.
I still have my yelling moments, but I have noticed they are now fewer and far between. I am learning the lessons slowly.
I have let my inbox build up and that leaves me feeling upset with myself, but I have learned that I can only do so much. Those waiting might think less of me for the delays, but most likely they are busy as well. I am learning the world will get over my imperfections and if not, at least I am.
I have made changes to my medications and stood up to my doctor with my own ideas and plans and how I want to move forward. In the past she has actually reacted badly to me “trying to be the doctor”, but I have learned that I am in charge of me and I dug into my strength.
I am amazed that within my exhaustion I am simultaneously energized – reading, taking in ideas, connecting, growing. I am grateful for slowing down, taking care of myself, and in turn learning and growing.
What are you grateful for this week?
Find your simple,