Grateful for moments that teach

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by Debra Dane on March 22, 2013

in Gratitude

I am very tired. That is the bottom line these days. When my husband and I check in from our respective cities that is the main topic without fail – we are both tired. Thankfully we continue to grow and learn, push through, connect, pull back from the urge to whinge and snap. I think even a month ago we might have had a virtual pissing contest of who is doing more, who is most tired, who needs a break.

These days I catch myself and acknowledge all he is doing and how very tired we both are. No contest. No winner or loser. It just is and we both need support and compassion and naps.

I notice that every day I have these teaching moments in my life (and occasionally they extend to others).

I splash my coffee everywhere and am annoyed for a moment. Then I notice where it splashed was in desperate need of a clean anyway. Thank you spill for reminding me that my kitchen actually needs to be cleaned sometimes.

The dog bites my hand right across the veins on top and I am in agony. Thank you for reminding me that I have been avoiding looking into that dog training we so desperately need. Five minutes after talking to my husband I finally search online and not only find someone great to call tomorrow, but they have videos on their site that already gave us some good tips and ideas. As usual I was avoiding making a call for fear of making the “wrong call”. Action simply needs to be taken and is always better than no action. Thank you Evie.

On it goes through my week with my children and my life.

I am tired, but I am more awake than I have been in a while and for that I am grateful.

I can catch the moments where I would have gotten angry or upset. I can breathe through them.

I still have my yelling moments, but I have noticed they are now fewer and far between. I am learning the lessons slowly.

I have let my inbox build up and that leaves me feeling upset with myself, but I have learned that I can only do so much. Those waiting might think less of me for the delays, but most likely they are busy as well. I am learning the world will get over my imperfections and if not, at least I am.

I have made changes to my medications and stood up to my doctor with my own ideas and plans and how I want to move forward. In the past she has actually reacted badly to me “trying to be the doctor”, but I have learned that I am in charge of me and I dug into my strength.

I am amazed that within my exhaustion I am simultaneously energized – reading, taking in ideas, connecting, growing. I am grateful for slowing down, taking care of myself, and in turn learning and growing.

 

What are you grateful for this week?

 

Find your simple,

Deb

 

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

eliz a buf March 22, 2013 at 9:21 am

i’m so proud of you for standing up to your doctor!! my first reaction is that you NEED. A. NEW. DOCTOR. but if you think she’s now doing the right things by you then all good.

and yes, evie desperately needs some good training. every dog does; they’re pack animals and live in a strict ‘pecking’ order. our human tendencies to be ‘polite’ when they bite, scratch, jump, etc does nothing to reinforce their place in the family (ie, fur-babies yes, leaders ummm, not so much). in their natural setting, even a minor transgression is swiftly corrected with a nip or a growl. she sounds like a smart pup and i bet you’ll see results very quickly. another great resource, and i know this sounds silly, but look up the ‘dog whisperer’ caesar chavez. his shows on foxtel are great, too, he gives loads of insights into animal behaviors.

now go finish your coffee. :)

xoxo

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Debra Dane March 22, 2013 at 9:46 am

The site i found is for people who actually do the whole dog whispering approach using energy and connections and dog psychology etc. need to call today and see how much it costs though (fingers crossed it is not “take the piss” level of $)

About the doc – i have been with her for 6 years managing my major issues (from depression to thyroid to cholesterol) – i see someone else for regular stuff. I cannot imagine starting over so instead just push when i find new info that has not yet made it to aussie docs. in her words “if it is not available widely here it is not conventional” well that is not enough reason for me to ignore info i find in the states is it? LOL this time she did not yell at me (well not yell but last time it was a scolding of sorts) so she must have accepted what kind of patient i am xxx
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eliz a buf March 22, 2013 at 10:27 am

brilliant, that is all the same stuff milan teaches. if it’s too stooopit expensive to do much with that group you can gather extra info from his site/show.

and what kinda doc only wants ‘conventional’??! sheeesh already. i hate it when that happens, and it sure has happened a lot. the last doc that came highly recommded for women’s/hormonal issues, after i’d explained that i thought i needed some help with my thyroid, gave me a long lecture about how ‘reading stuff on the internet’ is not a diagnosis, and sometimes people just don’t feel well and no doctor can diagnose why, that’ll be $135, thanks, now don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out…… grrr!

xoxo

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eliz a buf March 22, 2013 at 9:43 am

milan, CESAR MILAN. wth was up with the cesar chavez?? need. more. coffee.

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Debra Dane March 22, 2013 at 9:43 am

LMAO you cracked me up
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Maxabella March 22, 2013 at 11:39 am

I WISH I could be like this, Deb. To see such good in all the crappy little things that happen in a day. So far, not quite working for me.

WELL DONE to you (I had to shout that, I’m so impressed with you) for taking control of your health like that. Inspiring!!! I still remember how I first met you and I I keep an eye on you more than you know… x
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Debra Dane March 22, 2013 at 11:05 pm

Thank you so much hon – for keeping an eye on me and being here xx
i still do get upset with some of the crappy things and i still do yell at times – but i am so much farther along the journey than i was a year ago. i am learning the art of letting things go and am now optimistic that i might master it before i am old!! xxx
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Kim@FallingFaceFirst March 22, 2013 at 12:16 pm

This is inspiring – such a good reminder to breathe through the frustrations. I’m so quick to snap. I wish I could see the positive message through the tired brain fog. Thanks for writing this Deb.
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Debra Dane March 22, 2013 at 11:23 pm

Thanks hon – like i said to Bron this is a work in progress and soooo many years in the making – if there was a #1 issue in my house it was me snapping all the time so i was super motivated to start letting go of the little things that were driving me crazy – some days I see the positive side and others i just pull up my cranky pants and ride it out. xx
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Elisa March 24, 2013 at 8:52 am

I love this post Deb!! I read strength, strength, strength! And intuition! So in tune and such a beautiful reminder of the way we can see things if we choose too. xx
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Debra Dane March 28, 2013 at 10:24 am

Thanks Elisa – ironically thanks to hormone hell I immediately shifted gears to not seeing things in a good light, back on track now and it most definitely is something to fight against and keep seeing the positives…
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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen March 24, 2013 at 3:21 pm

Deb, you’re way stronger than you give yourself credit for I think, and a big inspiration!
I appreciate how you share the low times, and can see the high times ahead.
And I love the quote “I’m learning the world will get over my imperfections”, I’m still learning that one :)
Lis xx
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Debra Dane March 28, 2013 at 10:26 am

Thanks Lisa. I feel like I am always on a rollercoaster of ups and downs but i guess the key thing is that the downs are becoming less and less frequent and that is progress in the right direction.

It is really freeing actually to start telling myself that the world will get over my imperfections – you know what – i am starting to accept that most of the time they don’t even notice. it is the too high standards that make me/us even think they are “imperfections” when they are probably just regular old normal to everyone else. we just beat ourselves up over too many things xx
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Judy March 26, 2013 at 6:28 am

Hello everyone,
I am new to this website and I must say, this was a God sent. Deb your e-book is incredible, and I will re-read it over and over. I really appreciate you for creating a website where we can all help each other and communicate with one another, Thank you so much for that.

I deal with depression, and I have for quite sometime now. I have days where I am okay, but then there are those days where I am so beyond myself. In your book you mention that you were battling depression and anxiety for quite sometime. I did want to say that I am proud of you, as a woman for getting through so hardship, and now creating a support system for others.

I have so many goals and dreams, but I deal with such demons in my mind, that it’s easy to get lost in the myth of it. I am currently studying for psychology, and I am in my senior year, but I can’t seem to get myself motivated to even begin an internship. I been living in Florida for couple of months, coming from New Jersey. This was a big change for me, and I still haven’t met people, so lonely I feel at times. I need to begin some strategies so that I can begin my goals and future dreams, but I feel stuck. So any help or support that anyone can give, please helpppppp.

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Debra Dane March 28, 2013 at 10:22 am

HI Judy – welcome and thanks for getting in touch – I am glad we have emailed and am sending you light and strength hon xx

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