Wednesday was a pretty good day, but by late afternoon I hit a bit of a low and was craving a hug from my husband. Normally I would just wait for him to arrive home and know that I could lean against him and sigh – that makes me sound like a cat! He would know that I was in need of a hug and reassurance and some dinner cooked by him.
Instead I was on day one of our latest “normal”.
I recently shared I was grateful he has a job in light of all the recent layoffs – all over our State and in his office as well. He has little work to do, but thankfully instead of losing his job he has options. They are letting him commute interstate to work part of each week in Sydney. So for the near future my husband is gone 3 or 4 days of the week.
Day one was Wednesday when I needed a hug.
Thankfully I have kids who will be stand in huggers from time to time.
That evening he called to say goodnight to the kids. He asked how my day was and, hearing I was a bit down, reassured me he would be home soon. Knowing me well he told me not to stay up late and get some rest. I promised to head to bed at a reasonable 10pm. This rarely happens.
I carried on, sat down to watch my recorded TV shows and at 10 past 10 the phone rang.
My husband was ringing to see if I was in bed and laughed knowingly when I said I was “just watching another show and would definitely get myself to bed by 11.”
And then I got my gift to be grateful for.
I sat there talking to my husband on the phone. And found the upside that exists in every situation.
I was transported back in time almost 20 years ago. Early in our relationship I was in New York and he was at home in England and we chatted on the phone for ages – missing each other, dreaming of the future, making plans.
Something special happens when you are apart and get to talk on the phone – the distractions drop away, voices sound slightly different, there is beauty in talking on the phone. It is like late night talking in bed when it is dark, the house is quiet and you can barely see each other and the words spill out with ease.
This is what I got Wednesday night and it was better than a hug. It was only 10 minutes, but I felt heard, supported, loved and okay.
I have never lived on my own in my 40 years – always at home with my mother, in a dorm room or with my husband. Although I am an introvert, and crave alone time, I also appreciate always having a loved one nearby when I need them.
I am grateful though for the gifts that come with separation – for me absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. Only by someone’s absence can it be made glaringly obvious what roles they serve when they are present. So much of the day to day becomes background music, taken for granted, blending in after a hundred Tuesdays. Absence is like changing the station on the radio and being suddenly so aware of things that were familiar but now seem different in a different context.
What are you grateful for this week?
Find your simple,
Linking up with Bron at Village Voices 52 weeks or grateful
image: flickr user Mrdorkesq