Give yourself permission – your life your way

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by Debra Dane on April 9, 2013

in Self care, Self-compassion & (Anti)-Perfectionism

 

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

Whereas life does often throw things in our path, preventing us from living the life we dream of, usually we are the ones standing in our own way.

We undervalue who we are and what we have to offer the world.

Give yourself permission to dream – whatever you want deep down.

We say yes to things and people that don’t serve us well. We don’t want to deny them or hurt their feelings or have them be disappointed in us.

Give yourself permission to say no – anyone that matters can handle a “no” from you.

We put everyone else first, investing our time, energy and money in them, leaving ourselves last. We don’t want to be selfish. We don’t need so much. Our time will come.

Give yourself permission to take care of your needs – now, each day, whatever that is.

We get stuck in the story of our past – living our drama out over and over preventing us from living our joy today.

Give yourself permission to move on.

We criticize ourselves, more harshly than anyone else we know. Imperfect. Unworthy. Less than the others. Lazy. No talent. Failing at what is most important.

Give yourself permission to be you – to love you, as you are. You are enough.

We let fear hold us back – procrastinating to avoid it, passing opportunities as not ready, waiting for everything to be just so.

Give yourself permission to jump and trust the net will appear. 

We get caught up in the panic and the overwhelm of all that is ahead. The to do’s, the pressure, the dreams, the responsibility, the changes, the aches, the leaving the safety of the nest.

Give yourself permission to breathe. Breathe – exhale and pause. Just take the first step, the next moment, one thing to do or think about. Let the rest wait. You don’t have to do it all or figure it all out today. Take time and take a breath.

Your life, your way – give yourself permission.

 

What do you need to give yourself permission for? Where do you need to get out of your own way?

 

Find your simple,

Deb

 

 

Linking up with Jess for IBOT -check out all the awesome blogs linked up, you are sure to discover a new favourite.

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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

kirri April 9, 2013 at 9:14 am

Permission taken – particularly in the realm of BIG desire!

I love these punchy and powerful blog posts! Nice work Debstar.
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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 7:32 pm

thanks Kirri – i am getting more comfortable with using less words and taking less time to write – awesome win-win right?
Debra Dane recently posted..10 simple ways to sharpen the sawMy Profile

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Eleise April 9, 2013 at 10:24 am

I love it! Today I am giving myself permission to take a 2 hour bliss retreat and enjoy me!
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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 7:33 pm

That sounds like an awesome plan – now i am off to read your post on getting teens to clean and will be taking notes xx
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Rach April 9, 2013 at 12:00 pm

I’ve just recently found your blog & really appreciate both your honesty and simple onwards & upwards momentum . Nice work :)
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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 7:33 pm

Thanks so much Rach and welcome xx
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Me April 9, 2013 at 12:09 pm

It is amazing how different you feel when you give yourself permission to do what you need to do rather than running around like a headless chook trying to get everything done that you feel HAS to be done.
Thanks for another great post !
Have the best day !
Me
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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 7:37 pm

thanks Linda – hope you had a great day too hon xx
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rita April 9, 2013 at 1:42 pm

Great post! One that really resonate with me is give yourself permission to say “no”. Something that can be difficult to do.

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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 7:38 pm

yes it can be difficult (as can saying yes when we are uncomfortable) – as long as we do what is in our best interests we should not apologise. we count too!
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Tahlia - the parenting files April 9, 2013 at 1:50 pm

Great post Deb. I blog about this all the time. Giving yourself permission is such a biggy, and something that goes far beyond your own self-care xo
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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 7:39 pm

Yes – i think it feels easier to give up that control and let others decide for us, but if we do that they might be deciding things we don’t actually want etc
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Julie April 9, 2013 at 2:25 pm

I read this at just the right time! Great post Deb x
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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 7:53 pm

So glad Julie – xxx
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Lydia C Lee April 9, 2013 at 4:39 pm

It’s interesting the rules we set ourselves. Worth thinking about.

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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 8:11 pm

thanks lydia – reflection is a good thing in and of itself xx
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Meagan April 9, 2013 at 5:29 pm

Deb! Yes! Love this… Definitely needed to read this today.. Thank you xx

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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 8:11 pm

So glad it is of help to you Meagan!! xx
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Rebecca Mugridge April 9, 2013 at 7:57 pm

Love this so much Debra. So empowering and so true.
Especially I loved:
“Give yourself permission to say no – anyone that matters can handle a “no” from you.”
Still trying to overcome the people pleaser in me :)
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Debra Dane April 9, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Thanks Bek! people pleasing can be a tough one to let go of, but learning to please yourself is important !! a fine balance xx
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Emily @ Have a laugh on me April 9, 2013 at 9:19 pm

I need permission to not feel bad for upsetting ‘friends’ who want to pick and chose when they want to be a part of my life and then get upset when my children don’t invite theirs to their party! GREAT post! Em
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Debra Dane April 10, 2013 at 7:38 am

Permission granted if you can’t give it to yourself! Friendships are very tricky aren’t they? xx
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Mandy April 9, 2013 at 9:49 pm

Always a good reminder.

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Debra Dane April 10, 2013 at 7:39 am

Thanks Mandy – hope you are doing well xx
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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen April 9, 2013 at 10:48 pm

Yes, yes, yes Deb!! Giving myself permission just doesn’t come naturally for some reason. Thanks for this reminder. x
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Debra Dane April 10, 2013 at 7:39 am

It takes practice but just remember that honoring your own needs is valid and important!
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Sharon April 10, 2013 at 7:18 am

Love the post Deb. I am the proscrastinator of the century! I’m not sure why but I have so many things I want to do. I’ve just signed up to be notified about the 30 Day Self Care Blueprint so I’m hoping that helps move me along.

Sharon xo
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Debra Dane April 10, 2013 at 7:36 am

Fabulous Sharon – the doors are open now!! You don’t need to wait and we would love to have you with us xxx

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Fi @ My Mummy Daze April 10, 2013 at 2:14 pm

After crashing (and burning) one too many times I’ve learned that I have to give myself permission to breathe as a matter of survival. Great post Deb xxx Fi
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Debra Dane April 10, 2013 at 2:45 pm

Thanks Fi – hope you are doing well these days xx

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Pam April 17, 2013 at 2:43 pm

Love this Deb, perfect reading for me. I read it briefly while on hols and saved it to go back to. Thank you :) X

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Debra Dane April 18, 2013 at 8:28 pm

Thanks Pam – i hope your holidays were great and you are doing well xx
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