3 Types of supporters in your tribe

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by Debra Dane on March 13, 2014

in Vision & Goals

Last year I participated in a six month mentor programme with Melissa Dinwiddie (it was brilliant check it out- not affiliate). For me, one of the best weeks of the class was where we discussed support.

I have written before about asking for help, getting support, and the role it plays in reaching your goals and making your dreams a reality.

Melissa taught me all about the different kinds of supporters you can have in your life and it was eye opening.

Previously I felt like some people supported me and some did not.

In reality some people are emotional supporters and I tended to focus more on them as they made me feel like I could fly.

Other people are practical supporters and do things that help in a practical way.

Unfortunately I am too familiar with theoretical supporters – those people who do neither in spite of supposedly being in your corner.

It helps to know this because instead of having your expectations remain unmet you can know who in your support circles can be relied on for what type of support.

In my case I made a list and found one great friend who fulfils both practical and emotional support roles (and we meet up every few weeks now), plus several friends who offer endless emotional support and I know they can lift me up when I am doubting my ability to make my dreams come true.

In the practical realm I am paying for some support now in the form of a business coach and am interviewing to hire someone to develop my jewelry making skills.

I also plan to involve my husband on a practical level.

Instead of being frustrated that he was not constantly checking in on how I was feeling and the emotional toll of pursuing dreams, I reached out to others for that and looked at what I knew he could offer me with ease. It does not mean he is not involved or doesn’t care, it just means that between his work and interstate commute it is asking too much for him to satisfy that emotional role right now.

What support do you need to pursue your dreams? Who can you involve on a practical and/or emotional level?

Who is really a theoretical supporter – can you remove them from the equation? If not, make sure your energy is focused on the other two types of supporters.

Find your simple,

Deb xx

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Melissa Dinwiddie March 13, 2014 at 1:49 pm

I’m so glad that session on support was so helpful, Deb! It was so wonderful having you in the Academy. Thanks for the mention here! :)
Melissa Dinwiddie recently posted..My Realistic Recipe for Creative NirvanaMy Profile


Debra Dane March 16, 2014 at 10:39 pm

Thanks Melissa – i re read material all the time – loved this week a lot!
Debra Dane recently posted..3 Ways to Cultivate More Joy in your LifeMy Profile


Shell @ Sew n Sow March 13, 2014 at 4:32 pm

I love this idea – much more realistic for me to recognise my needs are met in different ways from different people than to expect they all be met by a few & be disappointed! My hubby is awesome with the practical support & varies with the emotional support depending on the topic – but I have a couple of girlfriends who are great with the emotional, but being in kid-land, can’t offer much practical support.
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Debra Dane March 16, 2014 at 10:39 pm

Yes it helps with getting our expectations in check AND our needs met xx
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Elisa {With Grace & Eve} March 13, 2014 at 6:47 pm

Oh my goodness Deb!! Eye opener! I very much needed to read this – thank you for sharing xxxx
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Debra Dane March 16, 2014 at 10:40 pm

So glad it helped you Elisa xx
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Kyle March 14, 2014 at 11:02 am

I hadn’t thought about these supporter categories. Now that I’ve thought about it I find that I have two wonderful friends who are both practical and emotional supporters whenever I need either/both. I like to think I’m both for them as well. I also have practical supporters in specific areas that don’t require emotional support.
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Debra Dane March 16, 2014 at 10:41 pm

That is great Kyle. Having friends who can offer both is certainly a big boost!
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Sam Stone (A Life on Venus) March 14, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Great post Deb. I think support is so important. I love to be a support for people. My husband is definitely my biggest support and also my parents.
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Debra Dane March 16, 2014 at 10:41 pm

That is so nice that your parents are such a big support in your life xx
Debra Dane recently posted..Self care blueprint self paced course on sale for MarchMy Profile


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